Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I don't knoooowwww

What I really want to do is not accounting. I don't detest accounting, which I often say, but I definitely do not enjoy it. To be honest, I really don't think I have that cutting edge to be in business. I don't have the competitive spirit or the self-confidence. What I do have is self-awareness and the ability to daydream.

I think my dream job would be to work on games. The storytelling part. I really enjoy good stories, and I like telling good ones too. Of course, I don't actually know how to do this.

The biggest roadblock I think would be my mom. I am mortally afraid of my mom, and her approval is such a big deal to me. I don't even know why. To be honest, I feel like I'm constantly under pressure when I'm around her and it's just so stressful sometimes. It's like I'm being judged, every minute of everyday, every action I take, every opportunity I miss.

I am a child at heart. I just want to enjoy life...I don't want to worry about making lots of money because it really doesn't matter to me so much. I guess it's different for her because she's still struggling with her job - she wants to be able to provide a good home for us. And I know everything she does is well-intentioned...sigh

...on a completely different note, i hate my life. I really do.