Judge a man not by his words...but by what he puts on his Gym Reimbursement Form

Handling Boston Scientific's wonderful Gym Reimbursement Calculation is one of many exciting (you can see the sarcasm there right?) and amusing (sadly, there is no sarcasm there) duties at work. Boston Scientific reimburses its employees up to 150 dollars every 6 months for any gym memberships and such.

It's interesting to see to just what lengths some people will do to collect as much of that $150 as possible.

Among the more...unique reimbursement requests included someone who had prepaid 100 dollars for an entire year, and then said his monthly rate was $10. Now, I don't know how division has changed in these last few years, but the last time I checked, 100 / 12 months is not $10/month. Which makes me sad, because either this person can't divide, or he really wanted that twenty bucks, so much that he would lie on a Gym Reimbursement form to get it.

And then there was one person who was part of a badminton group. Everything on the form looked fine...until I flipped the page. The receipts he had submitted were for expenses that he had incurred paying for food.

...

Yea, that was entirely the point of reimbursing gym expenses. Not promoting health...promoting eating.

And here's my random nasty story of the day. On the way back from work, I ran into some traffic. I happened to glance at my rear view mirror, and from that wonderful reflection I saw a half-naked guy driving, smiling, and looking down at...you know what...every few seconds.

...maybe my mind is just in the gutter, but what the hey was he doing?!

Nothing to do, Nothing to say...

This summer sure feels like it's going by fast. It's already the middle of july!

I guess having something to do really does speed time along. All I can remember is last year I was desperately waiting for summer to end, because I had nothing to do and was bored out of my mind.

I finally feel like a part of Boston Scientific. I was worried that I wouldn't for awhile...I was sort of antisocial the first few days (yea, that's always the best time to be antisocial), and that lead to me generally spending all day at my cubicle. Which I have to say, gets kind of dull at times.

But now things are going pretty good. There are a few people at work I'm pretty close with. Maybe not close close, but we can joke around and enjoy ourselves. And everybody else is still pretty friendly. Apparently I missed most of the drama, cuz from what my coworkers have told me, things were pretty bad before...

I guess I can still get bored, as evidenced by this conversation I'm having with David right now:

[17:37] wangxiuming: rawr
[17:37] durek08: meow?
[17:37] wangxiuming: cluck
[17:38] durek08: woof
[17:38] wangxiuming: quack
[17:40] durek08: chirp
[17:41] wangxiuming: snort
[17:41] durek08: squeek
[17:44] wangxiuming: mooo
[17:48] durek08: naaayyyyy
[17:49] wangxiuming: squawk

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

...what am I doing?

The Silent Excrement Wars

So I was at work today.

And suddenly I felt my stomach rumble and my intestines twist. (Yea, you know this is going to be a good post when I start off like that).

I rushed off to the bathroom...which I must say, is probably one of the most ingenious creations of mankind, along with the air conditioner and computer (games). Without bathrooms and their assorted utilities, we'd all be excreting into pots. Can you imagine?

Unfortunately, since I was at the office, the bathroom was public. And public bathrooms tend to be...you know, public. Which is why I don't usually like going numero dos in public bathrooms. For some reason, I am mortally afraid that people will hear me and know what I'm doing. All the *plop plops* and the even more humiliating gaseous sound effects that come with the whole dirty business.

Yea, are you disgusted yet?

So anyway, I rush into the bathroom and to my dismay, someone comes in after me. Dam you public restroom! I head over to the farthest stall from the door, and begin my daunting task: pooping with another person in the room.

So now began the difficult and somewhat counter-productive attempt to not only poop but to poop quietly. As I settled in (haha...), I realize that the person who had followed me into the bathroom was also...going numero dos. Not only that, but he was succeeding in my task...relatively well (relatively being the operative word). No way was I going to be shown up by some random stranger who works at the same place I do!

Thus commenced the Silent Excrement Wars. For 5 minutes, we sat there in total silence, each desperately trying to mask the terrible sounds of our unpleasant actions.

Who won? I have no idea. I waited until the guy left before coming out of my own stall. Thankfully no one else had come in, so I could wash my hands in peace.

And there you have it! I <3 my stories.

...maybe this is why I don't have any ... friends.

Disclaimer: This picture has nothing to do with my political opinions about our current President. Please do not sue me, arrest me, accuse me of terrorism, or in any other way violate my civil liberties. Thank you.

ADM: AOL Delayed Messaging

I've come to the realization, after having experienced 21 summers in this existence of mine, that summer is not a good time to Instant Message other people. I know this from both having sent messages that are never returned...and from not responding to messages other people have sent me.

So yea...I already have horrible AIM etiquette to begin with, but for some reason summer just sucks up my will to look at my messages. I think it's partly because when I live at home I naturally revert to hermit form. It's so easy to just stay home and not do anything, especially now that I'm working and I don't get much relax time during the week anyway ("that much" is relative...but compared to last summer where my work week consisted of 3 hours of tutoring English...).

So I just want to apologize in advance if you IM me and I don't respond. I try to respond eventually...but more likely than not I forget. Because I'm a horrible person. I'm sorry. There is no excuse.

And yes, you can ignore me all you want if I IM you. I guess I deserve it.

Resolutions...again.

It dawned on my today that senior year is coming up...and that it would be my last chance to do a lot of things. Seriously, I am going to miss college to death. Everything is so easily accessible here, but out in the workforce...

I can see myself being a hermit. I'm just a naturally hermity person.

But even if that is the case, I want senior year to be great. So at least when I'm a hermit I'll have some memories to look back on and say "hey, i wasn't always a hermit! biattchhh!!!"

Goals:

Goal #1 - Find that special someone.

This is probably my most pressing issue. That I have lived for 21 years and still have yet to engage in even the slightest bit of romance is probably the most depressing part of my life. haha. It's my own fault, I know...but I had issues.

To be honest, the opportunity has presented itself during these last 3 years...just not the right kind of opportunity. For which I feel horrible for the people involved... Heartache sucks. I probably should have told them...I'm a coward. All I can do now is apologize. :(

Still, back to my original point, college is probably going to be the easiest time to meet people. Because they're right there. When I actually have to work...who am I going to meet? My co-workers? (ew accountants! *barf* haha jk) I don't go clubbing, I'll probably be a hermit...yea, things don't look too good.

Even if it's only for a year...or less...(probably less...wait no, probably not at all. sigh) I really want to - feel.

...I never knew I was so emo. Damn. I hate being emo.

Goal #2 - Stop liking people who can't like me.

I guess this sort of ties in with Goal #1...but whatever.

Seriously, this has been the most frustrating thing ever. And I always come out of it feeling like an idiot. BLEARGH.

Ok I have to go work...more on this later. Maybe.