Monday, December 26, 2005

Boredom: The Year in Review

So, another year comes to a close, and my endless journey to escape from boredom comes one year closer to its inevitable outcome. Which is, of course, death. I mean, what could be more boring than death?
I guess that's subjective.
Anyway, here are my awards to the the entertainment's industry most notable products this year. I'll start off with the more dubious ones because I like to end on a good note.
Dreams are for crushing.
Biggest Disappointment: Smallville
Oh Smallville, you had such promise. But as the seasons go on, I've started to realize that this show about Superman really has none of what Superman should actually be about. And that is? Violence! Combat! Beating helpless mortals into little piles of pulp, leaking all sorts of bodily fluids in all directions. Ok maybe not that much, but COME ON. Smallville is about SUPERMAN, and yet the most fighting I've seen is Clark and Brainiac duking it out for...about 30 seconds. And there wasn't much to it. Blasting each other with eye beams. Huzzah. Not to mention the tired and repetitive breaking-up and reunion of Clark and Lex. God, turn EVIL already.
The pretty people just aren't enough to cut it anymore, Smallville. Unfortunately I've already become addicted to you like you are - dare i say it - RAMEN. So I can't stop watching. Damn.
Sliding down a muddy hill.
Most Dramatic Decline in Quality: Naruto
Dattebayo! Damn the fillers. Everything about this show has gone to ABSOLUTE CRAP. I can understand wanting to wait awhile for the manga, but inserting shoddily made meaningless drivel is not the way to go. Up until about may, this show was fantastic. Great fights, interesting characters, a compelling story...
Now it's the exact opposite. Story? What story? Naruto's storylines now are pointless, filled with characters acting completely out of character, plotholes, and general waste-of-timeness. And even worse, the fights have dramatically decreased in quality. The animation is dreadful, especially when compared to such excellent choreography as those of the naruto-sasuke battle. Bah...We can only hope the new year will bring an end to the filler.
The average of average Joe.
Most Unremarkable: Basilisk
There were several other shows that I considered for this category, including Trinity Blood and Speed Grapher. Several things distinguish those shows from simple mediocrity however (Trinity Blood I would classify more as annoying than unremarkable, and Speed Grapher was at least innovative in its combat). Basilisk takes home this award with its protracted and now dull storyline, and its characters who have a tendency to die before any connection can be made.
Sure, the combat is interesting, but it's nothing special if you've already seen the better episodes of Naruto. And I have yet to see an actual conclusion, while both Trinity Blood and Speed Grapher were kind of disappointing. So I guess it still has a chance to redeem itself. Just not this year.
Acting that makes soap operas look like epics.
Most Dubious Performance: Anakin Skywalker
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was in my opinion, one of the best movies of this year in terms of storyline, but it was marred by the all-together unimpressive performance of the lead actor, whose name I do not know and am too lazy to find out. Admittedly, it may not all be the actor's fault, as a serious transition to the dark side is undoubtedly hard, especially when the entire change is limited to 3 hours. Coupled with some cheesy dialogue, and you have a potential disaster, but they did well with what they had I guess.
And that about wraps up the less honorable honors. I don't feel like there was anything worth mentioning as the crappiest of crap, but feel free to suggest something.
Endings that aren't endings
. Most Angering Resolution: Halo 2

The original Halo was perhaps the perfect game in its genre. A singleplayer story mode that combined great action with a engaging story, and a multiplayer mode that let you link up to 16 players at once in team battles or free-for-all mayhem. Still, what I found most surprising was Halo's presentation and execution of the story, which was probably one of my first experiences with a good story outside RPGs. Needless to say, hopes were high for an equally well-done tale in Halo 2.

I was not let down...until the end that is. Because...the game ends right in the middle. There's this huge cliffhanger right when you should be fighting the climactic battle. WTF (f for fudge). What a sad and pitiful excuse for what should have been another epic ending. I can understand the developers wanting to milk the franchise or whatever, but it's sorely disappointing. Halo 3 better be good. Or I'll be angry.

No comments: